If I have one major complaint with Nintendo Wii, it is the lack of eye-catching games on store shelves. This is one reason why I’ve been spending more time with WiiWare games than actual disc-in-box games. While I enjoy the convenience of WiiWare, I am a bit of a traditionalist and miss that experience of purchasing a tangible box covered in price stickers and ESRB warnings. Dear Nintendo Wii section in my local game store, I will not give you up. I will continue to visit often, grimacing at the covers of fake puppies and ponies, the various ‘Sing It!’ bundles, and overall cartooniness of many of your games. And, secretly, I will wonder about some of your games that I outwardly mock , questioning if a game title that I make fun of may be my one true love.

That’s when the Mushrooms kicked in.

Recently, I broke down and bought Mushroom Men: The Spore Wars. It was one of those games that I have consistently looked over due to its title, its packaging, its child-friendly rating… how could I enjoy such a cutesy game? (Disclaimer- secretly, I enjoy some cutesy games. They are a very dark, guilty pleasure of mine). There was only one way to find out.

Mushroom Men begins with a quick back story of how the Mushrooms gained consciousness and started fighting each other. A meteor crashed, and various plant and animal life started showing signs of strange behavior. You are a young fungling (I don’t think that’s a real word, just go with it) named Pax. Pax was hidden away before his tribe was destroyed and has spent his life wandering, trying to find his ‘roots’. As Pax, you travel around helping fellow Shrooms and plant-life, collecting items, battling evil beings (such as meteor-crazed moles and rabbits), and, most importantly, gathering bits of meteor. You see the world through the eyes of a tiny mushroom, stuck in a world littered by humans. Old boots are now large obstacles you must overcome, empty soup cans are tunnels, and tiny bits of thread and chewed gum become intregal parts of your weapons.

I love the art in this game. The details given to every nook and cranny of this game are amazing, especially for a Wii game. The depth and dimension of Pax’s world is much more than just a shallow, empty landscape with some really tall grass. Instead of plowing through the chapters, you are encouraged to dig deep in to your surroundings, and the designers make sure that your surroundings are worthy of your attention, even down to the railroad tracks made of broken pencils. The soundtrack in the game is pretty great, too. It complimented the mood of each chapter without distracting the player with too much sound or confusion. So, I love the art and the music, what else could possibly matter for a game? Oh, yeah. Gameplay.

The more I played Mushroom Men, the more I really wanted to love it. And I do, to an extent. There’s just not that much to it to call innovative. From swinging your weapon aimlessly and still managing to kill your enemies (Star Wars The Force Unleashed, anyone?) to the way instructions pop up for new powers discovered and then proceed to force you to try them out even if you don’t want to (very Super Mario Galaxy-esque), to the many poor camera angles when you get yourself in a bind (just like… almost every Wii game out there…), Mushroom Men is the classic example of a Nintendo Wii game designed ‘for the whole family!’. Very fun, but very predictable. Even some of the powers you receive seem to be directly imported from other Wii games and reskinned- as soon as I received and started using my Sporekinesis power, I outwardly squealed, “This is JUST like Force Unleashed!”

Mushroom Men is like a romantic comedy. You enjoy it for what it is, but don’t list it on your Oscar nominations. It’s fun, and definitely rent-worthy, but will not be that memorable once you put it away. I happen to like romantic comedies, so this game is right up my alley. If you can’t stand the sight of Hugh Grant singing and acting like a fool-hardy idiot who finally gets his act together to land the girl of his dreams… well, that’s your problem. But you should still check out this game, if for nothing else than snickering and figuring out which Spore moments are spoofs of other games. Mushroom Men may not be the love of your life, but it is something to have a good time with in between your bigger crusades.

This is my review of Gladius, an original Xbox title, also found on PS2 and Gamecube. Since I am a strategic RPG guru sent by the gods to conquer any title released by humanity, it was my destiny to master this game. Gladius is not backwards compatible on a 360, very unfortunate. But if you have a backwards compatible PS3 you can play it with the PS2 version I am guessing. Anyways enough about compatibility, let’s talk gameplay!

The game starts out with the player choosing a campaign between Valens, son of a heroic gladiator and Ursula, daughter of a barbarian king. The interesting thing about the campaigns is even though they have similar parts, they are worthwhile to play through both. It took me 76 hrs to beat the game but some of that was me just trying new builds and squad types. The game features an assortment of playable race/classes from the standard archer to the centurion to even a yeti. And who doesn’t want to play a YETI…OMG THAT IS AWESOME! This character is a secret find among many others, I won’t tell you them all so that’s all you’re getting out of me.

In the story you represent your gladiatorial school and campaign through the lands defeating foes in various arenas in hopes of becoming the best. The game takes into account elemental based damage/defense, specials, range types and terrain heights. For example I’m playing my fire javelin throwing bad-ass who is standing on a broken part of the arena. There are many strategic options arise, A) I’m fire aligned, B) I have long distance damage, C) My weapon type gets bonus versus light armor units, D) I am standing on a higher terrain than my opposition therefore gaining +DEF. All sorts of interesting situations can come about when mixing and matching your units to provide various outcomes. The other cool thing is each arena is dramatically different and even has crowds who you can influence by your good or bad performance. If you do well in battle they cheer and you get + stats and if you do badly, your opposition gets + stats. There are even units who rally the crowd behind them, so you’re already at a disadvantage unless you take him out!

This game is definitely not for people who want to quickly attack and not think about what they are doing. It is chess with an RPG spin and a make believe version of gladiatorial Rome. One of the features I wish my other SRPG’s had was the ability to use your units from your save game against a friend to see whose strategy played out better. This feature is pretty slick.

As far as the negatives, let’s see. The game can be a grind if you don’t like thinking a lot! The game-play is a bit slow but keep in mind this is a “Turn Based Strategy” what do you expect. Other than that, which I honestly don’t think are negatives but my friends think it is. The game is awesome and for 5-10 bucks you can’t go wrong!

If you have any questions about the game or about Strategy RPG’s in general, fire me a msg by clicking my name below to contact me in Duels. Thanks and I hope you enjoyed this review.

Diocyatchin

CG Designer

Last autumn, the citizens of Phyrra helped the Elemental Allies defeat the Singlemind and usher in the Elemental Age.  Now, in the wake of that battle, two new factions are competing for the fate of the City of Duels.

Let’s take an exclusive closer look at the denizens of the Shadow World and the dream city of Orzax:

THE SHADOW WORLD

The Shadow World has been a part of Duels lore for quite some time. Created by a mad wizard, it is a twisted mirror image of the World of Duels, but not an exact copy.

While events from the World of Duels are duplicated in the Shadow World, once they are subjected to that harsh, corrupting environment, they are twisted and altered, often beyond recognition.

The Shadow World is a harsh place of constant war and death, a burned husk of a world, ravaged by constant, bloody conflict. While the Hll of Gates in Shadow Phyrra, a dimensional hub leading to a thousand horrifying hells was destroyed long ago, tales of our Phyrra, with its bright lights, fresh, blood-filled denizens and functioning gates have become legend among the Shadow Folk. While attempts have been made to bridge the dimensional gap between their world and ours, none have been successful… Until now.

 THE SHADOW ELEMENTS

Following the defeat of the Singlemind entity, the Elementals agreed to stay in Phyrra and assist in its rebuilding. At the same time, the Shadow Elements (Wrath, Greed, Hate and Destruction) returned to Shadow Phyrra. Their priests, including Fazan, told them of Phyrra and past attempts to breach the dimensional void. The Shadow Elements reflected on this and created a new plan.

Nightmares

While the Shadow and ‘Real’ worlds were separated by an almost insurmountable barrier, both sides were connected to the lands of nightmares and dreams. The Shadow Elements were able to force a small cadre of Shadow Broadcasters into Phyrra. There, they were able to broadcast psychic commands to the sleeping citizens. The newly arrived Flamehammer Orcs, having never dreamed before, found themselves particularly susceptible to these commands. Soon, the possessed orcs were commiting sacrifices in the name of the shadow, using the Shadow Broadcasters to transfer life energy back to the world of nightmares.

This energy is being used by the Shadow Elements to drag Shadow Phyrra out of the dream world and into ours, overwriting the exisisting Phyrra and granting the Shadow access to an untold number of worlds.

THE DREAM CITY OF ORZAX

Orzax is a shining stone city, located deep in the dinosaur-infested jungles of Orica (the same continent that the Abtu-Kahn originate from).  Just as fallout from the magical weapon that created Phyrra’s gates opened unstable gates in the Abtu-Kahn capital of Kehra, unstable portals exist below the streets of Orzax. While the citizens are unaware of the magical gates beneath their city, the portals have granted them the ability to walk, at will, between the real world and the World of Dreams.

When the Shadow began drawing their version of Phyrra into the world of nightmares, Orzayan  Dream Warriors were dispatched to investigate. Now, a small group of Dream Warriors and a single, unnamed Duelist are all that stand in the way of the Shadow…

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Well, yesterday’s announcement of Artifact weapons was certainly the talk of the town. There was a lot of great feedback and we have been making revisions to the items.

So, to give players a clearer idea of what to expect, today’s preview is going compare three similar items of different tiers. This should give a clear idea of how Artifact weapons stand, in comparison to their Legendary and Epic brothers (or sisters).

First, we have three edged weapons designed with similar purpose, but of different tier:

Razan’s Black Widowmaker Power Rating: 983 Main Hand: Axe 45-135 Damage +80 Strength +30 Speed +30 Perception +10% Critical Noble Set V Artifact

“Though the generals in Artreus’ undead army were known for vile appetites, none had a taste for blood and suffering to rival Arch Duke Razan the Bloodletter. An avid antiquarian, his collection of armaments was extensive as it was horrifying.  The Widowmaker is said to have been taken from the infamous Vistav warlord Grooplix of the Shieldhides. Razan’s vampiric horde had come in the night to kill the Shieldhide men, feed on the women and drag the children away to serve as chattel in the Duke’s vast Flesh Farms. Grooplix, His village razed, people eradicated and wife consumed before his eyes, stood before the last of his children,  axe, passed down from father to son from time unrecorded or remembered, shone in the flickering light of burning huts.  Duke Razan approached, the very image of death on his skeletal war steed, and was touched by the scene before him. Such a beautiful blade in the hands of so foul a brute. A few minutes later, having exterminated the beast and its filthy litter, he returned to Castle Redskull, where he gave the poor, malnourished weapon a good hoom and plenty of lives to eat.”

Razan’s Throat Opener Power Rating: 975 One Hand: Sword 45-135 Damage +70 Strength +30 Speed +30 Perception +7% Critical Noble Set V Legendary

“Though the generals in Artreus’ undead army were known for vile appetites, none had a taste for blood and suffering to rival Arch Duke Razan the Bloodletter. An avid antiquarian, his collection of armaments was extensive as it was horrifying. Razan was a vampire. This sword was known as the ‘Throat Opener’. Further explanation would be gratuitous.”

Wicked Witch Whacker Power Rating: 846 One Hand: Axe 41-122 Damage +60 Strength +20 Speed +20 Perception +3% Critical Noble Set V Epic

“Standard issue for soldiers in the army of the Estlam Witch Hunters, a devout group dedicated to the irradication of the undead and what they refer to as ‘unnatural abminations’, a group that includes orcs, ogres, goblins Kahn and most other semi-humanoid races.”

And, since we have been paying almost sole attention to the edged weapons so far, here are the other three Artifact items:

Razan’s Bloodletter Power Rating: 988 Main Hand: Dagger 45-135 Damage +85 Speed +50 Perception +10% Dodge Noble Set V Artifact

“Though the generals in Artreus’ undead army were known for vile appetites, none had a taste for blood and suffering to rival Arch Duke Razan the Bloodletter. An avid antiquarian, his collection of armaments was extensive as it was horrifying. The Duke’s namesake weapon was given as a gift from the Blood Children, a group of Gostic vampire worshippers. They would kidnap runaway children and small animals to offer in brutal sacrifice to, as they called them, ‘The Lords of Nocturne’. When word of the Children reached Razan, he was amused and wanted to meet them. He traveled via portal to the fortress that the Children used for their rituals. His worshippers presented the Duke with a lavish ceremony that culminated in a request for the Duke to infect them with vampirism or, ‘usher them into his kingdom of the damned’. Charmed by this display, Duke Razan agreed. But, as he took the first Child, the violence and savagery of the act frightened the rest and they ran, screaming in an attempt to leave the fortress. Now irritated with the whole situation, the Duke loosed his pet Razorhounds on the remaining Children and returned to his castle for a hot bath.”

Razan’s Wheel of Misfortune Power Rating: 983 Main Hand: Mace 45-135 Damage +105 Strength +35 Perception +10% Critical Noble Set V Artifact

“Though the generals in Artreus’ undead army were known for vile appetites, none had a taste for blood and suffering to rival Arch Duke Razan the Bloodletter. An avid antiquarian, his collection of armaments was extensive as it was horrifying. The Duke was known for his sporting ways, loved a game of chance and realized that a chance for salvation made damnation all the sweeter.  Enter the Wheel of Misfortune. Captives of the Duke would be given a chance to gamble for their life. Razan would put a blade to their throat and present them with a choice: he could behead them where they stand, or they could spin the wheel, where they were presented with one chance of being set free, and nine hundred ninety nine deaths far more vile, painful and grotesque than a simple beheading. The odds would have been slim, even if the wheel wasn’t rigged.”

Razan’s Dead World Power Rating: 894 Main Hand: Staff 45-135 Damage 300 Armor +105 Intelligence +10% Crit Noble Set V Artifact

“Though the generals in Artreus’ undead army were known for vile appetites, none had a taste for blood and suffering to rival Arch Duke Razan the Bloodletter. An avid antiquarian, his collection of armaments was extensive as it was horrifying.  The name of the now-dead planet held on this staff is unknown. For centuries, the tiny world thrived, home to a microscopic race of devout souls who lived to glorify the gods. Said gods were a lineage of mages known as the Order of Worldtenders. The protection of this tiny planet was their sacred duty. Then Razan came, murdered the Worldtenders and took the staff. At first, the staff amused him greatly and he would laugh and cheer as the tiny people paid tribute to his magnificence. The Duke, however, was notoriously fickle and  grew bored with his tiny people. The poor souls soon found themselves beset by all manor of horrifying catastrophe, from vigorous shaking to attack by giant ants. Their inevitable genocide came when God was distracted by a traveling theater company and left their world out for the dogs to chew.”

In addition to these items, Noble Set V includes 3 Legendary Chest pieces, 1 Legendary Axe, 1 Legendary Mace, 1 Legendary Dagger, 1 Legendary Mace, 1 Legendary Shield, 2 Legednary Staffs and 2 Legendary Wands as well as the usual assortment of new Epic and Rare Items. More on those soon!

NOTE: All items are in development and subject to revision, prior to release.

NOTE: This item has been revised. Please visit this link for more information

With Noble Set V just around the corner, it is time to start taking a look at what is in store! As with Tong Lo and Gortad, the Legendaries and Artifacts in this set all belonged to the same legendary warrior. In this case, the Vampire General Duke Razan the Bloodletter.

Being a man with a bit of a violent streak, the Duke’s collection included several weapons of artifact quality, including:

(Click for bigness)

Noble Set V is all about focus. The Artifact weapons are focused on raw damage at a reasonable power cost. This axe features high Strength, really high Critical and just enough Speed and Perception to increase your Critical chance and damage even further.

And I will be back again soon with more previews, including some oft-requested Legendaries and powerful Epics.

NOTE: Preview Items are still in development and may be subject to revision, prior to release.

Gears of War (1 & 2): A Tale of Masculine Camaraderie

It took me two years to get around to playing Gears of War because, well, it looked stupid. I don’t mean stuid as an all-encompassing term for ‘bad’, either. It looked like it had a low IQ. Like it needed help tying its shoe. Like it, well, was the sort of game that would play Gears of War. But I am nothing if not a professional and, as such, I consider it a responsibility to at least try any game that gets the kind of near-universal acclaim that Gears 2 was getting a few months ago. So I went out, purchased and completed both titles in a little under a month.

Was I right?

Yes. Gears of War is indeed a very stupid series.

Does that matter?

No. Gears of War is also a very entertaining series. And, Gears 2 is a legitimately really really good, maybe even great game. But more on that in a sec.

Gears of War (1) is a shining example of a single amazing mechanic overcoming a litany of sub par design design decisions.

The Bad:

Writing:

The characters all speak sort of like they were written by somebody who caught the last hour of Full Metal Jacket while it was playing on a TV in the background at a Sigma Pi kegger.

EXAMPLES (Real, honest to god, undoctored exchanges from Gears 1):

Dom: [hearing odd sound] Did you hear that? What the hell’s that sound?
Marcus: It’s just the wind.
Dom: Yeah. Right. When was the last time the wind said “hostiles” to you?
Dom: [noticing odd Locust soldier] Uhh… Those aren’t drones.
Marcus: Shit… Looks like they upgraded.
Baird: [on radio] They’re called Theron Guards.
Dom: You think they know what we’re doing?
Marcus: Well, we’re not here to sell cookies… So they know something’s up.

OR:

Dom: No way… Cole Train, we saw you play.
Cole Train: Hell yeah, baby. Everyone wants to see The Cole Train play!
Dom: Marcus, do you remember this guy? Division playoffs? 40 yard line?
Marcus: I remember that you owe me 20 bucks.
Dom: Oh yeah? See me after the war.

And, just to show that these aren’t isolated incidences:

Marcus: Cole, what’s you’re status?
Cole Train: S*** yeah, baby we got the hook-up! They given us a big-a** dinner!
Baird: We are gonna get dysentery from this s***.
Cole Train: Baird’s havin a hard time adjustin, you know.
Fenix: Tell Baird to shut up and eat, we’ll be back soon.
Cole Train: Copy that, Cole out.

Cole Train, in particular is the newest winner of the Slippy Toad Memorial Award for Excellence in the Field of Irritating Sidekickery. Imagine the dialogue above being delivered by someone doing the worst, borderline-racist Michael Vic impression you have ever heard and you will be on the right track. On the brightish side, Marcus Fenix is voiced by John “Bender Bending Rodriguez” Di Maggio, who manages to invest his sparse “manly” dialogue with at least a hint of acerbic wit.

Visual Design:

Basically, every scene looks like someone shaved a bunch of gorillas, dressed them in S&M gimp suits, strapped Jeep bumpers to their backs and dropped them into the a less-vibrant version of worst-case scenario Baghdad.

Given the game’s 14-Year-old-boy’s-interpretation-of-deep somber tone, the color palate is forgivable, but it contributes to one of the series’ worst design decisions: You are part of a squad of broad-shouldered, impossibly beefy marines, dressed in black leather. You engage in pitched, often chaotic firefights with  squads of broad-shouldered, impossibly beefy aliens, dressed in black leather. Often the only way to distinguish friend from foe is the color of your reticule.

The Good:

The Central Run and Gun Gameplay:

Nearly every encounter in the first game and the majority of encounters in the second come down to kneeling behind a piece of waist-high rock, while waiting to pop up and gun down aliens like you were at the  Frontierland Shootin’ Exposition. And it is absurdly engaging. Engaging enough to keep me slogging through the ugly (but undeniably technically impressive) graphics, insipid dialogue and forgettable story all the way to the first game’s (anti-climatctic) end. Which brings me to…

Most of Gears of War 2 (Except the Dialogue):

So, yeah, pretty much everything I just mentioned (except the dialogue) was either fixed  or improved in Gears 2. The story is engaging, the levels are varied (Ice and forest levels! I said varied, not original) and you move from memorable, intense encounter, to memorable, intense encounter. Even Cole Train has a smaller part.

If you haven’t played either, you don’t need to worry about the first, just pick up the second. If you played the first, even if you didn’t like it, I recommend you grab the second. But, this is all probably immaterial since, statistically speaking, if you have an Xbox, you already have both of these games.

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts: A Tale of Ursine Ingenuity

Also, statistically speaking, you probably don’t have Banjo-Kazooie, which is a real shame. In a lot of ways this game is the Anti-Gears: Colorful, clever and original.

In the last few years, there have been an influx of games based on real world situations, such as cooking or fitness or, in this case, a hillbilly bear using basic auto parts to steal a giant coconut from a robotic witch.

Despite its platform roots, Nuts & Bolts is closer to being a real Lego game than any of the licensed Lego games of the last few years. Basically, each world is made up of a bunch of challenges like the aforementioned witch nut theft, or “Knock this inflated fox as far as you can” or “turn off all of the lit circuits inside a giant Xbox”. You are then given a bunch of parts, such as blocks, wheels, engines, giant robotic fists and propellers and asked to construct the  best vehicle for the job.

And even if that mechanic were the only thing the game had going for it, I would still recommend it. Just building different vehicles and testing them can easily eat up hours of your time without completing  a single challenge.  But, Rare went ahead and packed the game with clever writing and beautiful graphics anyway.

In an age when most games are locked in a Who-Can-Make-the-Drabest-Sewer contest, Nuts & Bolts’ bright, colorful toybox aesthetic is a breath of candy-scented fresh  air, while legitimately clever writing that doesn’t embarrass itself by trying to be ‘grownup’ but ends up coming off about as serious as a teenager trying to impress girls with his sick ‘numbchuck’ moves gives me hope that, as an industry we might have a chance of doing more than appropriating the very worst that comic books had to offer circa 1993 (I’m looking at you, Gears).

Yeah, there are some negative issues with the game, but you know what? I’m not going to list them, because you should have already bought this game for the reasons listed above but instead you bought Gears of War 2 and this game needs all the help it can get.